Watching our social media connections out-awesome each other has led to the rise of social media keeping up with the Joneses.
In today’s supercharged social media insta-world, one of the hardest things to do is stay focused. Whether it’s family life, career, or a fantasy baseball team, remaining on task is constantly challenged by an incessant sensory overload of information, ideas and opinions coming from all directions.
Collectively, the fruits of our tech savvy modern existence, which include an endless audiovisual array of LED screens and high resolution media, have manifested in us a cavalcade of expectations, threatening to bury us at any given moment. We see the world turning, 24–7, and we ask ourselves, what have I done lately to contribute to the revolution?
Nowhere is this more evident than on social media, where squeezing in 15 minutes of Facebook browsing over an idle Tuesday lunch can turn into a downpour of envy, frustration and FOMO: fear of missing out.
Things are bad enough in those periods of mundane boredom. But it can be even worse when we’re brought down from a high point. For example, have you ever enjoyed a delicious meal at a neighborhood café and been so moved as to want to share a food pic on your social network of choice, only to see that your [friend/coworker/distant relative] just posted a selfie from Paris standing next to Wolfgang Puck?
Kinda steals your thunder, doesn’t it?
These routine mini-humiliations, in which our social connections out-awesome each other, often lead to another even more sinister development: the rise of social media keeping up with the Joneses. Rarely any longer a place to genuinely communicate and keep in touch, today’s social feeds have become a hotbed for showing off. Anything you can post, I can post better. That’s the rule.
Now don’t get me wrong. There are plenty of sincere posts and people whose sharing isn’t motivated by superficial reasons. But even after aggregating the innocent with the agenda-driven, we still reach a critical mass of impressive stuff spewed all over our smartphone displays. It’s like an ongoing electric wave of cute babies, exotic trips, job promotions, celebrity sightings, luxurious weddings, sweet rides and expensive bacon-infused cocktails, projected onto the canvas of our digital consciousness. And even the best of us can be distracted by it.
It’s not a wholly different feeling from the first time I walked into a video arcade at the mall in the early 80s, except it happens on a daily basis. And that is simply an unsustainable amount of mind blown for any normal life. Or at the very least, it’s an invitation to mentally stray.
Modern society is faster paced than ever. But it’s not only because of technology and social media. Attention spans are shorter, and demand for instant gratification is ever-rising. Our cities operate all day, every day, with access to amenities, services, products and personal attention available around the clock. Lifespans are longer, healthcare conditions are better, crime is lower and transportation is more efficient. All of this means huge cognitive surpluses and massively increased human potential. But while we have an unprecedented amount of resources, we also face stiffer competition for our time and mind share.
Frankly, measuring up to the spectacle can be overwhelming. Rising above distractions to maximize our effectiveness, while maintaining a semblance of happiness, is for many of us the struggle of our time. And for others, just finding time to do anything other than stay above water can be a challenge.
We are human beings, so it is only natural to feel a little inadequate in the face of so much grandiosity “happening” around us while we’re sitting in line to buy deodorant at CVS. But the assault on our senses is a grand distraction. More often than not, we’re victims of our own mental biases.
Outside of our imaginations, the lives of others aren’t nearly as action-packed and sensational as it seems. But when digital algorithms are able to compile the few remarkable events that are happening into one place at one time, the net result is an inflated perception of reality.
Beyond the social media illusions, what people do with their lives has relatively no impact on what you do with yours. Your social media feeds are, by definition, irrelevant.
Even so, to battle these distractions takes discipline, perspective and faith. Easier said than done, of course, but it helps to put together a strategy. So I’ve come up with a simple 4-step plan of how to overcome the pitfalls of modern connected life and keep our eyes on our own work and priorities.
Step 1: Have a purpose for all digital behavior.
Whether it’s web browsing, apps, messaging programs, texting, or streaming media, digital technology consumption can be highly addictive. One of the problems is that we often use these tools as ways to occupy time, rather than as means to a defined end. This is something that can be counteracted with a simple rule of thumb: Always have a purpose.
Use the Internet to address specific problems or questions. Only go to Facebook or Twitter to find something in particular. Make up your mind about what you want to achieve before you open an app. This is how we make our technology subservient to us, instead of the other way around.
Step 2: Stick to what you like and what you are good at.
Maybe sewing pillow cases isn’t the sexiest topic to share on Snapchat, but if it’s what you do best, the end result will be more productive. When we focus on the things we are good at, we add value to our own life and the lives of people around us. After all, someone will ultimately sleep with that pillow.
When in doubt, remember the 80–20 rule (also known as the Pareto Principle). It states that we get about 80% of results in life from about 20% of the things that we do. Focus on the 20% (which almost certainly does not include surfing random websites or cyber-stalking coworkers) and more good things will happen.
Step 3: Don’t be a grumpy old person.
Recently an older gentleman approached my table at a Starbucks and pointed at the book I was reading, which was about how to raise funds for a non-profit. The man asked why I would care about such a subject at my age, and stated that he finished school a long time ago and was long past his days of studying complex new subjects. In simplest terms, never become this person.
No matter how old you are, you can always learn a new skill. Keep trying. This will occupy your mind and help you find purpose. Learning new skills also gives you a legitimate reason (See Step 1, above) to use social media, whether to share valuable information or connect with others who also care about that topic.
Step 4: As Billy Joel said, “Keep on keepin’ the faith.”
It’s easy to get discouraged when we compare ourselves to the greatness we see in sports, media, the arts, or all over the web. People everywhere are constantly taking their chosen discipline to new heights. How do we measure up?
A wise man once said that the harder you work, the luckier you get. I find that a comforting line and the best advice for combating feelings of irrelevance. It may take longer than we want, but when we stick it out, we are almost always eventually well compensated. Nothing is set in stone. There are no hard and fast rules in life. So somewhere along the line, we have to draw a line in the sand and believe that success will come. We make our own fortunes in this lifetime. But it doesn’t work if we don’t have faith.